The Amazing Race
by Grand Master Shoma
Summary: Four teams of four, and not the usual two, are going to span the globe for the grand prize of a trip to... Maui!!! Why Maui? Read for yourself. Chapter 2!! Mystic Ruins! Prison Island! Other places!!
1. Bringing about the situation and contest...

The Amazing Race

By "Grand Master Shoma"

Disclaimer: I don't own any characters from the games, or anything doing with the games. But I do own this story, so don't steal it.

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GMS: Hello, hello, hello! And welcome to my version of 'The Amazing Race". I'm Grand Master Shoma, and I'm reporting to you live from the Space Colony ARK. With some curtains, a few comfy chairs, this place will turn beautiful. Here, four teams of three, plus an extra to keep them on the right track, will have to race around the globe to go to one of the famous monuments that I myself will choose. Its an arduous journey, but hey, I expect it to be fun and romping with madness. The prize is a dream trip to Maui!! Why Maui? Cause it was the first thing in my head! Now, let's meet our teams!

(A curtain is shown)

GMS: Now, let's meet our first team. It's the team I call Team Mario RPG: Let's give it up for Mario, Bowser, and Peach, direct from the Mushroom Kingdom!!

(Team Mario RPG come in, sitting in three chairs. They blow kisses for fans? I'm not the Judge.)

Bowser: (blows a kiss in his weird style) I live to help.

Mario: No you-a don't!

Bowser: Now I'm gonna bite your head off! I'll help everyone forget all about you!!

Peach: Lemme guess: That's how you think that'll help everyone?

Bowser: Finally, someone gets my drift.

GMS: Right, and you all scare me. Next, these three are Judge Neusy's faves from Super Smash Bros. Melee, it's a shame she's not working with me on this. Thus, I dub this team, Team Judge Neusy's Faves: Let's hear it for Roy (of Fire Emblem: The Sealed Sword), Kirby (of, um, Kirby) and Samus Aran! (of Metroid)

(Now here comes Team Judge Neusy's Faves. They sit in three chairs next to Team Mario RPG)

GMS: Samus, let me say this: This is Earth. You can breathe here. Take the DAMN suit off! Or at least the helmet!!

Samus: FINE! If it'll get you my ass! (Samus removes her helmet, thus revealing a beautiful face; though I don't know how beautiful to say, exactly)

Bowser: (whistling at Samus) Look at you.

(Samus nukes Team Mario RPG with a giant missile; sadly, they live.)

Mario: This is what-a happens when you whistle at-a every girl that comes-a by, Bowser.

Bowser: (mutters under breath) Just like Peach...

Peach: What was that? 

Bowser: Oh nothing.

GMS: Next, to my sight, we have Team S.T.E: come out **S**onic, **T**ails, and **E**ggman!

(Team S.T.E. sits next to Team Judge Neusy's Faves. Sonic laughs slightly at the charred Team Mario RPG)

Sonic: I hope this contest will be fun for all parties.

Eggman: Except for Bowser and his human companions.

Bowser: Human companions? I like that!

Eggman: Thanks! I came up with that myself.

Tails: Eggman! Don't associate with the members of Nintendo that we don't like!

Eggman: Sorry.

GMS: Finally, this team, which is all the way from Rival Schools, is whom I like to call Team Gedo High: Daigo Kazama, Gan Ishida, and Eiji--

(GMS dodges a flying knife)

GMS: I mean **Edge** Yamada!

(Team Gedo High takes a seat next to Team S.T.E.)

Gan: (whistling to Samus) You're a beautiful lady.

Bowser: You shouldn't have said that!

Gan: What? I was being honest and sincere.

Samus: Thanks. I guess... I'll take that as a compliment.

Daigo: Down, Gan.

Gan: Oh, I see. You want her, don't ya boss?

Bowser, Eggman, and Daigo: WHAT!?

Edge: OOOH!! Samus in a foursome with turtle, boss, and Eggman; F-U-C--

(Daigo smashes him in the face.)

Edge: (in pain) What?

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GMS: Now, there's a fourth member which keeps track of where the teams are. These people, are the most vital of your group.

Bowser: Hey C'mon! We're able to work on our own, aren't we?

Sonic: And aren't there only supposed to be 2 people to a team?

GMS: ... Enough talk!

GMS: For Team Mario RPG, or M.R. for short: Come on down, Luigi!

(Luigi comes in using his Green Missile move to launch himself onto the stage, then lying there on his side.)

Mario: (look of embarrassment) I don't-a know him...

GMS: Next, for Team Judge Neusy's Faves, or J.N.F. for short: Let's go, Captain Douglas Jay Falcon, of F-Zero!!

(Falcon walks in, sitting with his group.)

Falcon: Samus, (eyeing her up and down) you're looking very fine today!

Roy: Alright Falcon, that'll do. 

Kirby: Yeah, Samus isn't a prize to be won!

Samus: At least these two act like gentlemen! Thanks, you guys.

Kirby: Aww... you thanked us.

GMS: For Team S.T.E.: from Virtua Fighter, it's Jacky Bryant!!

(Jacky walks out to his assigned team.)

Jacky: Hey Sonic! Tails! Eggman!

Eggman: Hey Jacky!

Sonic: I've always wanted to meet a Virtua Fighter!! Where's your hot sister Sarah?

Jacky: Always ranting something about wanting to beat me!

Eggman: She must not have been held when she was a child.

Jacky: How'd ya know?

GMS: And finally, for Team Gedo High, or G.H. for short, Akira Kazama!!

(Daigo's cute sister, Akira, comes out on stage to Team G.H.)

Akira: Hey Daigo!

Daigo: Hey Akira.

Edge: (lovely voice) Hi Akira.

Bowser: (whistling at Akira) **You're** looking good.

(Akira goes up to Bowser, and Skull Auras his face, knocking him into the other two.)

Mario: (in pain) Bowser...

Bowser: (in pain) Force of habit...

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GMS: Now, here are four capsules. In each capsule, there is a different route for the teams to take. Select a capsule.

(Four capsules emerge from nowhere. They're colored red, green, yellow, and purple. Luigi takes yellow. Akira takes red. Falcon takes green. And Jacky takes purple.)

GMS: Now, you follow the routes until you reach the Final Destination: the Statue of Liberty, in New York City! I will now teleport you down to Earth through the ARK teleporters, and I wish you luck!

(GMS pushes a button, sending all the teams down to Earth off to separate destinations.)

GMS: Fools... (laughing maniacally) HAHAHAHA!!!

Apollo: Okay me, what the hell are you doing?

GMS: They suspect nothing, especially about their 'prize'.

Apollo: But still, the evil laughing?

GMS: SO?

Apollo: It's not gonna fly.

Stay tuned next time!!!


	2. Day 1 of the Amazing Race

The Amazing Race

By "Grand Master Shoma"

Disclaimer: I don't own any characters from the games, or anything doing with the games. But I do own this story, so don't steal it.

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GMS: Now is the first day of "The Amazing Race!" (shakes head in disappointed) I am so sorry! I mean, I didn't mean to sound that gay!

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(Team S.T.E. arrive in... Prison Island?)

Sonic: The hell!? Hey, Jacky, are you sure this is where we start?

Jacky: I'm very positive about this, Sonic!

Eggman: But I thought that Shadow, Rouge, and I destroyed this place during our conquest.

Jacky: Interesting... tell me more.

(As Sonic, Tails, Eggman, and Jacky keep walking and talking, they enter the Green Forest area.)

Eggman: And I almost had that Foxboy in my hands, but then he shot me down.

Jacky: In the air?

Eggman: No! In the Space Colony ARK, you goon!

Jacky: (grabs Eggman, and pulls off some sweet Jeet Kune Do kicks) Don't call me a goon again, Eggman!

Eggman: Ow...

Tails: Is he alright?

Jacky: I just **kicked **him, is all.

(Suddenly, GUN robots surround the team.)

GUN robot #2: (queer voice) I am Z-BAK 10198 mK II!

GUN robot #1: And I'm Joe mK II. God, I hate you, Z-BAK!

Sonic: Out of the way, you stupid tin-cans!

GUN robot #1: Ha! That's where you're wrong! We are made of... Hey Z-BAK, what are we made of again?

GUN robot #2: We're actually an alloy of titanium, some parts diamond, and some salt.

GUN robot #1: SALT!? WE COULD RUST, YOU FOOL!!

Jacky: Let's just get them, now!

Sonic: Jacky, I like your style at times!

(Sonic, Tails, Eggman, and Jacky start giving the mK II GUN robots an ass-whomping.)

GUN robot #1: We're screwed again, aren't we, Z-BAK 10198?

GUN robot #2: Oh, yes we are, Joe! (malfunctions and dies)

GUN robot #1: (in a state of suffering) Kill me now. (explodes) Thanks.

(Team S.T.E. are now moving on.)

-

(Team J.N.F. are teleported into another area of Prison Island. This part? Why, it's Iron Gate!)

Samus: (looking around) Falcon, did you screw us up?

Falcon: Okay, shut up Samus! This is not my doing!!

Kirby: Let's just get out of here. Maybe there's a convoy that'll take us off this place.

Falcon: (pointing forward) TO THE CONVOY!! (notices something) Hey, you are here. (it's obvious that he's looking at a 'you are here' sign) We are?

Roy: Well, it appears we go _all_ the way down to the level 6 gate, blow it up, and we reach the boat that takes us off.

Samus: Well, what have we to lose?

Kirby: LET'S GO!!

Falcon: Oh yeah!

(Kirby, Samus, Roy, and Falcon take off. Imagine them going through Iron Gate, **exactly through **Iron Gate, until they reach the part where they have to fire the missile to destroy the walls)

Kirby: Hmm... we need to destroy the walls...

Falcon: Hey, maybe it's something to do with this missile.

Samus: Well observed, Captain **Moron**!!

Roy: Guys, stop fighting. Let's just break up this antennae, to activate the missile.

(Roy destroys the switch, then the missile starts aiming for the doors)

Falcon: (gets on the missile) YEEEEEEEEHAAAAAAAAAW!!! 

Kirby and Samus: FALCON, YOU IDIOT!!

(the missile drives into the gates; Falcon is in considerable pain)

Kirby: He did it!!

Samus: Well, looks like Douglas Jay **is** useful for something.

(Kirby, Samus, and Roy are then following to the main gate, and Falcon in considerable pain)

Falcon: (indifferent) I'm in considerable pain.

Roy: (concerned) Falcon! You alright!?

Falcon: Just dandy! Now, how do we get out of here?

Kirby: It's says that in a few minutes the convoy will arrive!

(A few minutes pass; the convoy arrives)

Roy: Now, let's am-scray!

Kirby: Hurray!

Samus: About time.

Falcon: (claps hands like moron) GOODY GOODY GUMDROPS! (realizes that the other three are staring at him) Sorry.

(Team J.N.F. reach the convoy. They knock out the guards, destroy the robots, and are now on their way to freedom... or the next destination.)

-

(Team M.R. are teleported inside the Mystic Ruins)

Mario: (hacking away at some underbrush with a found machete) Whew. This place is like-a jungle. Good-a thing I found this machete!

Bowser: (hacks away some underbrush with his claws) And it's a good thing these puppies are natural machetes!

Peach: I can clear some things too! (puts hands in her dress) Where are they?

Mario and Bowser: (staring blankly and arousingly at Peach putting her hands in her dress)

Luigi: I'm-a indifferent to this-a situation.

Peach: AH! Here they are! (pulls out something from her chest; it's a whole bunch of bombs) My Psych Bombs should clear away some of this foliage!

Mario and Bowser: (snaps out of daze) No! NOT HERE!!

(Team M.R. are now smothered in an explosion [as well as some jungle]; everyone is now charred.)

Luigi: (indifferent; coughs out smoke) I'm-a indifferent to this-a situation.

Peach: Let's just keep going.

(some time passes; Team M.R. are now trapped in a part of the Mystic Ruins maze)

Peach: There's something on the other side... but if only there were some way we could break through. Maybe... (looks at Bowser)

Bowser: What?

Peach: Bowser, can you do us a nice favor and break down the wall?

Mario: Hey c'mon! Be nice for once.

Bowser: Me? (angry) NICE? I've never been nice in my life! I hate nice! 

Peach: Would you do it, (lustily) for me?

Bowser: (blushing) Well, give me a kiss, and I'll forget that I was your enemy!

Peach: That's a deal! (kisses Bowser on the forehead; his face turns bright red)

Bowser: Right! Yes mam!

(Mario and Luigi grab Bowser by both of his arms; they throw him through the wall. Bowser didn't let go of Mario's arm, and so drags him with him.)

Luigi: Hmm... It's-a good thing I didn't go with them.

Bowser and Mario: OH YEAH!? 

(They logic-defiantly stretch their arms, grab Luigi, and drag him with them)

Luigi: MAMMA MIA!!!

(Mario, Bowser, and Luigi crash to the ground)

Peach: *tsk* Boys. (floats down to the others using her parasol) Whoa... what's that?

(Team M.R. see a pyramid with a snake head opening, and echidna statues around it. If you've been playing your Sonic Adventure 1 game, you know that this would lead to the Lost World Zone)

Bowser: (whistling in awe) Cool...

Peach: (playfully) I wonder who's going in to search the place out? (winks lustily at Mario and Bowser)

Luigi: Wow. She's-a going to be the _slut_ of the Mushroom Kingdom if-a she keeps doing that!

Mario and Bowser: OUTTA THE WAY!! (Bowser and Mario enter the Lost World entrance the way Sonic enters; they fall through the pit) WWWWAAAAAAAHHH!!!

Luigi: (follows the other two) Hey, wait for meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...

Peach: Well, looks like I've no choice but to follow after. (pulls out parasol and floats behind the fallen three)

(Team M.R. are now trapped in the Lost World)

-

(Team G.H. are teleported to a sunny beach)

Edge: Hey boss, where are we?

Daigo: (checks sign) It says we're in Maui.

Edge: SWEET!! Screw this amazing race, lets just stay here!

Gan: Hey, that works!

Daigo: You seem to forget that we have no money. Bakas. 

Gan: (moans) Well, there goes our plans to skip out of this contest!

Akira: There has to be some way to get off this island.

Edge: If we had a ship, then surely we could get off...

(You're in luck, Edge. You've been teleported to the sunny beach of Maui **near** the harbor.)

Akira: Hey, we're in luck!

Edge: (smiling) Sweet!

(Team G.H. go to the harbor. The boat they saw to taking was blue, and was manned by the captain still.)

Edge: Let's make like last year in school, and steal this floatin' tub!

Daigo: No... the captain won't believe us if we go tell him our situation, and he'd beat us if we tried to take the boat. 

Gan: No he wouldn't.

Daigo: Unless... (whispers something into Akira's ear)

Akira: (embarrassed) Daigo, NO!

Daigo: Akira, this is the only time I'm asking you this far-off task. Do it for me?

Akira: Oh, alright. (glares at Edge) **You** better not see me!

Edge: Why?

(Akira goes to the side of the boat, and flashes her breasts to the boat captain)

Sea Captain: OH YES! I'M LIKING THIS!! AAA-- (falls into water)

Edge: Can I look now?

Akira: (covers herself) Yes, now you can.

Edge: I wonder what you did?

(Team G.H. goes in the boat and starts to sail off...)

-

(Back to Team S.T.E., who make it to the end of Green Forest)

Sonic: This has gone too smoothly... there has to be a catch...

GUN. Beetle: (passes by) This island is about to explode _again_ in 10 seconds. Thank you.

Jacky: Like that?

Sonic: Yeah, now we RUN LIKE HELL!! WWWWWWOOOOOOOO!!! (ran ahead)

Eggman: And he finds this fun?

Tails: (running after Sonic) WWWWWWWWHHHHEEEEEE!!!

Eggman: (grabs Jacky) C'mon, I run pretty fast. (starts running)

Jacky: WHOA!!

(Team S.T.E. are flung into the sky by the explosion; they pull a Team Rocket bit, where they become stars in the distance)

-

(Back with Team J.N.F. ...)

Kirby: (hears alarming sound) What's that noise?

Samus: I think the island is about to blow up.

GUN Beetle: (passes by them) This island is about to explode _again_ in 10 seconds. Thank you.

Roy: Does that give you a response...

Kirby, Samus, and Roy: BLOWS UP!?

Falcon: (panicking) ohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygod

Samus: (grabs Falcon) Falcon, snap out of it! (slaps him)

(Team J.N.F. are also caught in the explosion; they are quickly flung into the sky)

Falcon: (voice dying off) You got a dynamite punch, Samus...

Kirby: (voice dying off) WWWAAAHHH!!!

Roy: (voice dying off) WWHHOOAA!!

Samus: (voice dying off) Calmdownwemightlandsomewhere!!!

(Team J.N.F. also pull the Team Rocket bit.)

-

GMS: They think this is hell, wait until they experience day two...


End file.
